Sirius Sagan

Sirius Sagan
A shirtless male character of mine who has big breasts.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Poison Tree: My Anger At The Sando Aqua Monster

This post is derived from A Poison Tree by William Blake which is a little poem with a big point.

A Poison Tree is solely grown by anger.  The poison tree is largely a metaphor for holding in anger and not letting it go.

Why I am so angry with the Sando Aqua Monster

Don't you DARE tell me that Sando Aqua Monsters don't have any predators, Cloverfield is a predator of Sando Aqua Monsters
When I first saw Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (TPM) in theaters in 1999, a poison tree had sprouted!  You may ask me what caused my poison tree to sprout, let me explain.  It is extremely rare for me to get so tormented by a minor aspect of a film, usually when I dislike something it is for big points such as the fact that Halo is war propaganda.  The 18-second segment of TPM in which a Sando Aqua Monster bit a Colo Claw Fish in two and ate it for lunch is such a rare occasion for me in which a nitpick makes me furious.  I am serious, the fact that the TPM underwater scene GLORIFIED that act of the Sando torturing and eating the Colo is exactly what sprouted the poison tree that I am talking about.  One thing that nurtured that poison tree is that I was virtually unaware that I was a protector of Colo Claw Fish until Saturday, March 20, 2004.

Since March 20, 2004, I envisioned using certain non-Star Wars interstellar spacecraft such as Project Orion II to protect Colo Claw Fish from Sando Aqua Monsters.  And this has including visions of starships such as Bussard Ramjets capable of housing Colo Claw Fish while they ply deep space.  I also envisioned using blue-ringed octopus (Hapalochlaena) to counter the Sando Aqua Monster in a style reminiscent of The Eagle And The Beetle.  Now I imagine the Cloverfield Leviathan eating Sando Aqua Monsters for dinner.  Cloverfield is my favorite monster movie.

My REVENGE: Cloverfield the natural enemy of Sando Aqua Monsters revealed! 
Project Orion II and the Cloverfield leviathan will gang up on the Sando Aqua Monster.  Cloverfield is 365.8 meters in total body length and is 225.6 meters wide if the arms are outstretched.  The Sando Aqua Monster is only 160 meters long.  The Sando was an adult, but the larger Clover was an infant or juvenile.  I am NOT joking, the Cloverfield leviathan which is larger than the Sando Aqua Monster is a child, and this can be proven in the featurette called "I Saw It!  It's Alive!  It's Huge!" on a Cloverfield DVD or Blu-Ray by the creators of that film!  Anyone who thinks that the Sando Aqua Monster can beat Clover is a liar and needs to STFU!

Although I no longer hate Star Wars, I STILL hate the Sando Aqua Monster.  I am also troubled by the fact that some Star Wars fans openly love Sando Aqua Monsters and glorify the sadistic vermin.  Allow me to give you one example, on the Star Wars Artists' Guild (SWAG) website someone going by the pseudonym of "Tusserk" (a.k.a. Tussy) drew a picture of a "Jedi Sando Aqua Monster" because she is a massive fan of those rotten animals.  Tussy drew that aforementioned Sando Aqua Jedi at the request of another SWAG member going by the pseudonym of "VashKnives".  Tussy claims that Sando Aqua Monsters are "Force-sensitive" eventhough from my readings of offical Star Wars sources about Sando Aqua Monsters I saw no evidence of that.  Both the Orion II Starship and the Cloverfield leviathan own the Sando Aqua Monster for obvious reasons.
Orion II Starship

No comments:

Post a Comment