Hello, this is Project Orion II's Chief Designer and this post is about a crackpot whom I have written. His real name is Fredrick Galactico Impcus and he often refers to himself as "Faster-Than-Light-Freddie" since he adamantly insists on the idea of faster than light travel. Those who accept Albert Einstein's Special Relativity refer to the brat as "Mr. FTL" in an uncomplimentary fashion. He hates Einstein can calls Albert a "theoretical despot" just for showing that FTL is impossible. he then goes on to call everyone who knows that travelling faster than light is impossible "Einsteiniacs" and has a conspiracy theory about a made up "Speed Of Light Empire" which he claims "rules physics and astronomy with iron fists". Mr. FTL's elders are aggressively lenient on him, meaning that they will defend his belief in FTL and instantly blow up at anyone who dares to teach their boy the anti-FTL equations. His mom Betty Impcus threatens to kick Relativity supporters with her pointy shoes if they tell her son that it is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light. Mr. FTL's best friend is a very troubled borderline personality Sando Aqua Monster named Sabirius ChaKhan who just very lenient on FTL boy because he feels sorry for him from day one. The Impcus family runs a blatantly pro-FTL film company called "Echolance Entertainment" which they founded for their boy. Mr. FTL is the arched enemy of a Sirius Sando Slayer named Orion McSagan who is very vehement about handwavium wishful thinking including the belief in FTL. There is also one Colo Claw Fish in particular named Sim Colo Claw who literally vomits every time he watches an Echolance Entertainment film and demands that Mr. FTL should learn to understand the equations that show that the speed of light is a cosmic speed limit. Mr. FTL's best friend on land is a stealth in space wishful thinker named Sean Gorse.
Mr. FTL Profile:
Goal: Getting all space enthusiasts to accept that FTL is possible and toppling Relativity via smear campaigning.
Birthday: February 16
Height: 170 centimeters
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Weight: 60 kilograms
Personality: narcissistic, foolish, arrogant, closed-minded, controlling, selfish, pompous, ignorant, delusional, deceitful,
Likes: Faster Than Light Drive, FTL-clad science fiction, leniency, unreality
Dislikes: Special Relativity, Lorentz Transformations, hard science fiction
Allies: Sean Gorse, Betty Impcus, Jack Impcus, Sabirius ChaKhan, other amateur Relativity disprovers
Enemies: Orion McSagan, Sim Colo Claw, anybody who fully accepts Relativity
Echolance Entertainment Movie List:
* = starring Mr. FTL
FTL Revolution*
Theoretical Tyranny: No FTL Allowed*
Star Stealth Coup D'Etat
Thermodynamic Martinets: No Stealth Allowed In Space
No comments:
Post a Comment